Monday, April 9, 2012

Journal #7

Nano-Dreams: Swan Song

“Death is certain. It’s hour, uncertain.”

A nerve impulse is a terrible thing to waste. If we could see them in action would we appreciate them more? I think not. It would only lend itself to further musings on our own mortality and eventual return to the atomic dust from which we are purported to have sprung from.

A web of neurons alight with life and vigor appears beautiful from a grand perspective, city lights twinkling on and off, thoughts racing here and there, always giving the impression that even in the darkness somewhere there remains light. The lights themselves die as fast as they are born, skipping beats faster than comprehension or vision can account for, and when they are burnt out they are cast aside, so much unneeded material waste.

“Dr. Gibson’s integration with me may be having some unforeseen effects Doc. I’m not much for the intellectualizing of the world around me while sober, but I’m finding myself working my way through thoughts that would never have fascinated me before.”

“Even with the relative experimental quality of this process, I would be surprised if you didn’t experience something like that.”

“It needs to stop.” I snapped, taking a deep breath. “This can’t be my life. I’m not ready to be somebody else. I feel like my existence is slipping under the bus, and Eve is going to take over.”

The Doc takes a long look at me over the rims of his glasses, considering. “You won’t be taken over. It’s my belief that every persons body is in a sense hardcoded to their souls, somewhat like DNA. While I can’t prove this empirically, I’m going to tell you that Eve cannot ‘take over’ from you. Your body would in essence reject her.” He stops talking and I get the feeling he is waiting to see how I’m going to take that.

“What if I become a secondary player in my own life? What if she takes over enough to put me in a subconscious vault or something?” I said in a fervor. “What if I become witness to my life without any agency? Can you imagine a greater torment than that? Can you Doc!?”

“If that had been the aim of Dr. Gibson’s project I don’t believe she would have gone about it in the way she did. Trust that this is an integration, not a subversion.” He leans back in his chair across from me and considers his notes. “What you are experiencing is totally new, all we can do is try and get you through it as quickly and painlessly as possible.”

“Can we continue?” asked the Doc.

“Let’s continue.” I said, sitting back and waiting.

“He’s right you know.” said Eve, stepping over an invisible threshold and sitting down on a park bench that wasn’t there a second ago. “Your body would reject my hostile takeover, and in all likelihood we would both die.”

“You can hear all the things that I’m hearing? In real-time?” I said, clenching my fists. “This is my life damnit! You forfeited yours.”

“I did no such thing. Death was just the final stage of my research.” Eve said smiling mischievously. She brushes a lock of hair out of her eye and looks out at the infinite nothing surrounding us. “The people backing my research may have wanted a finished product that they could use for one advantage or another. Military, social, economic...I never really cared. The truth is that I saw our world dying, and Cynthia7 was my solution to the human race.”

“I don’t like your tone when you say ‘solution’ Eve. I don’t like it one bit. The human race is not an equation to be solved for a variable, it’s you, it’s’s people for fucks sakes!”

“Don’t you see, that’s precisely for whom I did all of this. Everything you see right now, the integration of two complete souls existing and growing together...Don’t you see!?! We are evolving! Evolving beyond God’s wildest dreams.” Eve said and continues to smile as she closes her eyes and tilts her head back as if soaking in sunlight on a bright summer day.

“She did it...she really did it.” I mumbled to myself, sitting up straight in the lab chair.

“She’s created Artificial Evolution.” I said wide eyed starring at the Doc and through him, out into the future she had envisioned for us. “The dawn of a new age is approaching; Eve Gibson is its first savior, and it’s first martyr.”

“Yes...” said the Doc. “Yes, I believe she is.”

How fitting.

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